Balancing Gratefulness and Ungratefulness During Lent
by Drew Kirtley
One of my favorite books is a collection of prayers and meditations called The Prayer
Tree(1), by Michael Leunig. It is a thin, green, pamphlet-sized booklet (of which I need
a new copy because I should know better than to lend out my favorite books)
compiled of prayers, meditations, and illustrations. The little cartoon person on
every page is illustrating a scene, which mirrors the prayer/meditation that
precedes it. In one of the illustrations, Leunig offers a prayer during a time of illness,
which he describes, both beautifully and unpleasantly realistic, saying, “Nature has
entered into me…”(2). Well, nature has entered into my family and me during this
season of Lent.
When we get sick, we can typically feel it coming. Our body communicates to us
through aches, pains, itchiness, soreness, and all kinds of not-fun symptoms. I had
hoped to avoid that so far this year. I decided to give up soda (mainly Coca-Cola) for
Lent and in turn, maybe lose some weight and feel a little healthier. And it worked
for a while. That is until, you know, nature.
Nature entered into me first in the form of what I had thought was a cold and cough.
I was able to dispense of it rather quickly, but then it came upon my two-year- old
daughter. Most parents would tell you that having a sick child is the least fun thing
in the world, and I would agree. It is, for some reason, easier to fight off those irritating and painful symptoms oneself than it is watching a toddler struggle through it. It’s heartbreaking and fills me with anxiety. And for that I am ungrateful.
The weird thing is that on a “normal” day, I find myself filled with gratefulness for
these exact same things. I, like many people, am grateful for spring and all the life it
brings. I’m grateful for the grass, the trees, the color in nature, and all the bird noises
that return to everyday life. I’m also grateful every day for my family. I’m grateful for
the laughing and playing that comes with having a healthy two-year- old kid. And I’m
grateful for this season in which we can return to playing outside.
But as we churchgoers spend time during lent reading, studying, and hearing about
the end of the life of Jesus of Nazareth, I can’t help but be reminded of all the seasons
for which I am ungrateful, but remain part of life nonetheless. Like being grateful for
nature, even when it causes illness. Or being grateful for children, even when they’re
misbehaving. Or being grateful for faith, even when I’m lacking in it. So, as we begin to wrap up this season of Lent and continue to reflect on everything about it,
May you be grateful, and ungrateful, and everything in between.
Amen.
_____
1 Leunig, Michael. The Prayer Tree. Illustrated Edition. Australia: HarperCollins,
1998.
2 Leunig. The Prayer Tree. 1998.
